Izzy.Lost.

Everyone is looking for you Isabella....

My sister always says you have to put stuff out there....put it out to the universe. So Universe...I am putting it out there. Even though no one reads this blog, I feel so helpless and useless sitting here at home....all I can do it put it out there.

Hang tight little one. Your mama, your brother and the worlds greatest grandparents are looking for you. We love you Izzie. xo

This is my life.

I had to grab my camera.

The kitchen was clean, everything put away (I love nothing more in my kitchen then when its bare and clean) All that sat out was our water bottles. Mine, Mr sixtyone45 and Little's. There they were on the countertop. A wee hydration vehicle family. Two bigs and a little. And I thought, in a nutshell, this is my life...

and its perfect.

A Little Sprout.

So apparently my blog? NOT the only blog on the internet. There are more. Many many many. More.

(In honour of Earth Day, Mr. Fothergill and I moved the garden indoors this week) While the current cutest kid ever to have existed title holder played quietly with his barnyard, I thought I would look up information on how to improve my blog – both in appearance and in content. Great idea! Yea...maybe not so much.

Happy Earth/Vaisakhi/Jelly Bean day!

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Vaisakhi!

Happy National Jelly Bean Day!

(i will never not cook my spices again before using them - holy moly. yes, holy holy moly. my house smelled amazing all night) So the last holiday, although true, was not really celebrated in our house this weekend. Unless you count the three remaining jelly beans in Mr. sixtyone45's desk candy jar that for some reason have been pardoned. But this past weekend it was Earth Day and Vaisakhi. So what did we do to celebrate? Step one...google Vaisakhi.

Sorry Vegetarian Readers...

Its a sausage party!

Well, not a party, so much. More like pork-leg-is-on-for-a-buck-a-pound-and-I-have-a-grinder-I-have-never-used-and-my-dad/former-butcher-is-here-today-and-there-are-no-jobs-on-his-grandpa-list party.

So, yea! Its a sausage party!

Mom. You are Right.

Mom...you are right.

There. I said it. I wrote it. On the Internet nonetheless so its, like, permanent. Better than carved in stone. Because the Internet is....<insert scary music> forevvvvver.  This is a little diddy about me making some veggie pancakes and my mother being right.

I am NOT a baker.

I am not a baker.

(these cupcake liners match my bedroom curtains. no joke.)  Not a baker like.."oh, you mean this six tiered butter cream sponge cake ornamented in hand spun sugar flowers? I just threw it together". No. I'm realllllly not a baker.

Admin Day

Yesterday I did nothing creative.

(I love trying to catch a sun beam) Nothing. Nada. Zip. Well now that I think of it.. actually... maybe....ya, nope. Nothing.

Hoppy Easter

There is nothing better than seeing...really experiencing..holidays through the eyes of a little one. And the first year doesn't really count.

(bunny pancakes?? really?? u rock dad.) I mean, the first year COUNTS...but throw a set of bunny ears/santa hat/pumpkin onesie on any four month old and if you're lucky they'll not cry/fuss/squirm long enough for the obligatory "My First Holiday" photo.  

But the truth is such. 

Mom is sleep deprived. Dad is "sleep deprived" (although how one can be sleep deprived when one would start the day by asking 'how was his night?' is a mystery to me. really? really? really...but that is for another post)  and well let's be honest...the little bean doesn't know 3am on a Tuesday from 3pm on a Saturday most of the year...

(a cookie?? in the morning?? u rock mom) But Year Two...unbelievably precious. We talked a lot about what to do for the special bunny day. All upcoming special days really. We have talked more this year about creating traditions than ever before. It wasn't a conversation we had often as a twosome...15 years as a twosome...but when you go and plus one...well, its a game changer.  How will he describe his holidays to his kids?

( I can get it, I can get it!) Back to Easter. What should we do? A basket? A present? A Church service? A Brunch out? A walk through the park? Chocolate was definitely not on the table- Little has MORE than enough energy already...adding chocolate would bring an element I was not prepared to experience yet. He is a Christmas-ish baby so when he turned one this year we already decided that we would like to instill the value that Christmas was about others and his Birthday could be about him.  Where does that leave the Bunny holiday? (Note: we believe he is a bit too young to begin explaining the religious meaning behind the holiday(s). That will be a parenting Q & A I am certain will not be far off. In the interim, we will be interpreting holidays through the big blue eyes of a wee one...hence the Bunny holiday)

(in my shoe Dad, really?) For us...this year....it meant dollar store plastic eggs filled with cheerios and animal crackers around the house. It meant lifting him up to grab the eggs off the mantle or picture frame. Watching his eyes light up bigger than I swear I have ever seen (I think I say that every day now) when he found the treat inside. It meant bunny pancakes and vanilla yogurt for breakfast. It meant a family lunch of sushi and gelato with his sweet sweet Auntie. (complete with darth vader and elmo eggs for her newphew) It meant dinner with close friends. It meant speaker phone with gramma's and papa's and nonna's and nonno's. And at the end of the day... to Little....it was just another Sunday. 

I'm learning that traditions are about doing what may not always be considered traditional. Or it may.

I'm learning that traditions may not mean doing what I did as a child. Or it may.

I'm learning that traditions are about not making my house/food/costume/presents/insert anything here Martha Stewart perfect.

I've learned that traditions in the sixtyone45 House are going to about getting said Little to give us that traditional make-my-insides-mushy smile.

Happy Belated Easter.

 

Allllrightttt...TWO posts in a row. If you knew my history with diet and exercise commitments you would high five me right now.

I decided today I needed to have a description about my blog, why I was even here pounding on this keyboard. Although my readers right now consist of (hold on getting calculator)...ahhh yes. One. (thanks hunney) I still felt I needed a bit of a focus.

(a better 'before' pic would have been all the pots piled up, missing lids and the twelve ikea frying pans but I'm still learning)  I'm a very regular jane. I don't have any special talents or amazing abilities. I was a banker for 15 years (nothing like bringing up the cyclical trends of retail banking for a stimulating dinner party conversation) I like five star dining and cooking over a campfire. I like dressing up and sporting my lulu's. I love books and movies and trashy tv all equally. I like to get outside for a run walk as much as I love an afternoon nap.  I like to dabble in decorating and organizing and cooking and household projects. I think the saying goes...jane of all trades, master of none.

(probably shoulda scoured that one on the left first). I follow some amazing bloggers who have clearly found what they were meant to do - its awe inspiring! So I remind myself, it doesn't happen overnight, on day two, day twenty two or maybe day two hundred and twenty two. But I am on a quest to find my trade master...(insert joke from Mr sixtyone45 here) And maybe I will find out I was meant to generalize and not specialize...we shall see. But I pledge to enjoy the process....

(that green colour makes me happy)

Some of What I Did Today.... It took me about 30 minutes to empty the drawer under the cooktop, clean it (what is IN those magic erasers...scary good), lay some pretty drawer liner from Walmart, evaluate contents (12 ikea frying pans? seriously? what is wrong with me?), put back only what I needed, labelled where things should go back (overkill? maybe. but cute? oh so much so) and voila. A pretty, organized and effective drawer.  It made me very happy this morning when I reached in for the frying pan to make this guy....

...his eggs. And that face....made me even happier.

The First Post

There is a first time for everything. Today is a day of firsts.

Today I quit my job. So okay technically, not the first time I have quit a job....but first time I quit without something to go to. Insert panic emoticon here.

Today I also write my first blog entry. Are they related? I am sure a shrink would think so.

(When in doubt...bake bread) It was time.  It was definitely time.

I had already extended my mat leave several months in hoping of a part time solution that would let me be a more hands on mommy while still fulfilling my need to make spreadsheets and strategy decks. But it wasn't in the cards. No hard feelings. A hint of disappointment but a pound of relief....a decision was (had to be) made.

(i'm not sure if constant peeking is killing the rising process) So I sent in my resignation, had a beer with Mr. sixtyone45, cooked a nice lunch and decided to blog about it. I think I knew I was going to make the decision in the morning because before I went to bed I put a bone in pork shoulder in the slow cooker with a can of Coke Zero and some Budweiser BBQ sauce (too tired to come up with something original and preserve free). This is not something I usually do.

(they are certainly not rising are they?) I need to be busy. My best friend calls it achievement oriented. I think my sister calls it bossy and controlling. Mr sixtyone45 would say somewhere between type A and B, C plus perhaps? I made the ground breaking discovery that I am not the only new-ish mom in her late thirties struggling with career and family...go figure.

(I think meat is hard to make look pretty sometimes) I find the unknown unsettling - and not in the good way. Not exciting unsettling, or nervous unsettling...just "something is missing" unsettling. I love being a mom. Love it even more than I thought I could. I just don't know why it doesn't feel like enough. And don't get me wrong, I'm usually exhausted by 7pm.

 (looking good right? fell right off the bone) And certainly not bored.  I don't know why I cannot just sit back and enjoy the brief ride of having a little one. Its going by so fast. Why do I feel the need to multitask with him all the time?

(ahhh, pretty) So I'm going to make a pledge and I am going to make it here. Starting now, there is going to be some changes around here (insert grand hand gesture)

I will cherish what I know will be too few moments with Little sixtyone45.
I will strive to get my house in order to make more space for said moments above.
I will create...food, art, design, pretty folders....and nourish what I believe is an absent creative gene.
I will not be so hard on myself, my Mr., my Little and those around me.
I will be more present, live more deliberately, lighten up, get serious and enjoy every minute of it.

Some of What I did Today
Its a beautiful day today and I made a beautiful lunch for my family. And if that is all I produce today, it will be a great day. Now we are off to the park....

Coca Cola and Bud BBQ Slow Roasted Pork with Beer Braised Onions on Homemade Buns
(recipe to follow)